Telo oh Telo

Sahrin gemar memelihara ayam dan setiap pagi dia akan mengutip telurnya. Suatu hari dia pergi kekebun dan mendapati ayamnya bertelur di bawah pokok limau jirannya, Herman. Dia menjadi sangat marah apabila ternampak Herman sedang mengutip telur ayamnya.

"Hey, jangan ambil, itu telur ayam saya" jerit Sahrin.

"Mana boleh ia bertelur didalam kebun saya, maknanya saya punyalah" balas Herman.

"Saya kata itu telur ayam saya" kata Sahrin. Mereka pun bertengkar.

"Macam ini lah, biasanya keluarga saya akan selesaikan masalah ini dengan beradu kekuatan. Apa kata kita lawan sepak perut, siapa bangun lebih cepat dia menang. Mula-mula saya akan sepak perut awak dulu" kata Sahrin.

Herman bersetuju dengan cadangan itu. Sahrin pun balik kebangsalnya dan terus memakai kasut but. Kemudian dia kembali semula mencari jirannya itu. Setelah bersedia Sahrin menyepak perut Herman sekuat-kuat hatinya. Jirannya jatuh tersungkur dan berguling-guling menahan kesakitan. Herman mengambil masa 30 minit untuk bangun kembali.

"Ha, sekarang giliran awak pula.." kata Herman yang sudah bersedia untuk menyepak Sahrin.

"Nanti dulu, ambillah telur ini," kata Sahrin dan terus pergi meninggalkan Herman.

Eat Sandwich

Two best friends go to a fast food shop to order a soft drink.
Once the order until they remove the bread from each sandwich, and began to eat.
The owner of the shop who had fun watching their behavior towardtheir direct and
saying,
"Sorry sir, you can not eat your own sandwiches in here !"...

So the two friends was sighted people, among themselves, thenshrugged and started to change
their sandwich ......

Poison

Jake is lying in bed at home ... just wait for the lost lives.
His wife, Susan was at his side. Susan holds a weak hand and crying
tears out of her eyes.

When Susan prayed, and she looked at her pale lips began to say it slowly.
"Susan, my wife," she whispered. "My husband, not to talk, relax."
"Susan, I have to admit something," he said weakly.

"There is no need to confess," replied Susan with grief.
"Everything is okay, go to sleep," said his wife, crying.

"No I want to die in peace. Susan, I have been unfaithful to your sister,
Your best friend, and your mother. "

"I know ...," he said. "That's why I poisoned you ..."

Short Life

An old man entered the room doctor for an annual physical examination. After several minutes, the doctor came out and said,"Aaron, I'm sorry, but we found out you have a condition which onlyallows you to live only another six weeks.

"But Doctor," Aaron replied, "I feel healthy, I do not feel better thanthis year ... This can not be true. Is not there can I do?"

After a while, the doctor said, "Yes, you may be new to the healthspa at the end of this road and the mud bath every day. "

Aaron eager to ask, "And it will heal me?"

"No," replied the doctor, "but it will make you familiar with the land."

Diamond Ring

A wife to her husband for not insisting on purchasing a car as her birthday gift. But her husband bought her a diamond ring of extraordinary beauty. Her friends were amazed at the selection.

One was a male friend asked, "Why did you buy your wife a diamond ring, not a car?"

The man smiled and said, "It is difficult finding counterfeit car."

Teacher Farewell Gift

When that is the end of the school year, and a Professor of receiving gifts from her students. Salim son of a flower shop owner gave him a gift. Professor shakes gift box, holding it above his head, and said, "I'm sure I know what this is. .. Some of the flowers?"

"That's right" of the students said, "but how the teacher know?"

"Oh, just a guess," he said.

The next pupil was the daughter of a candy store owner. Professor of holding the prize, shake it, and said, "I'm sure I can guess what this is. A box of sweets."

"That's true, but how the teacher know?" asked the pupil.

"Oh, just guessing," The Guru says.

The next prize is the son of a liquor store owner. Teachers holdings gift box, but the box was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her ​​finger and touched the tongue.

"What is wine?" he asked. "No," answered the children themselves, happily.

Teacher repeats, taking fluid from leaking into the box tongue.

"What is champagne?" he asked.

"No," answered the children themselves, with more smiles.

Teachers feel left before the state,

"I give up, what is this?"

Of the students replied, "That dog!"

Number

A kindergarten teacher asked her students ...

Teacher: "Who in this class who knows the number?"

Razif: "I know"

Teacher: "Do you know the numbers?"

Razif: "Yes teacher .. I have learned with my father"

Teacher: "Okay .. let's see ... after 3 .. how?"

Razif: "4"

Teacher: "Well ... after 6?"

Razif: "7"

Teacher: "Yes .. Well .. after 9?"

Razif: "10"

Teacher: "Yes .. Well done ... your father seems to really care about your education .... Finally after ten.... how?"

Razif: "Jack, Queen, & King"

Died Every Friday Morning

One of ICU beds in the room of a hospital often experience events leading odd .. Each patient will be placed there, died on Friday morning of each day regardless of age, gender, or their health This is very confusing for doctors ... Then the doctors decided to monitor the bed ...

Upon arriving next Friday ... some doctors prepared to identify the cause of death in the bed where the young man when a patient is asleep ... Some doctors hold the Koran as a preparation for Yassin and spirits drive ..

Spinning time ... at 08:00 am .. 08:30 am up at 9.00 am ... all of a sudden ... ... ICU room door was open ... . Then go Aunt Surgery ...A part-time workers as cleaners who only served every Friday .. Login ... approaching the sacred bed ... and continue to pull ...electrical socket for the respirator to turn for help .. vakum cleaner ...

Short Funny

Man: My father was great. He was the police. Everyone is afraid of him.
Ali: Hahaha, my father is more greatest. When he asked the subject, that person would be subject ..
Man: Wow! What your father working?
Ali: Barber.

Doctor: You should take this medication 3 tbsp per day.
Patient: Uh! Can not be a doctor.
Doctor: Why?
Patient: My house is only have two tablespoons.

Teacher: Hasan, connect 2 of this section into one. 'Ali ride bicycles to school. Ali saw the corpses. "
Hasan: Ali saw the corpses ride bicycles to school.

Moni: From this morning I was not full-meal satiety.
Sasi: You eat what?
Mony: Wind!

Egg Seller

Buyer: "Sis, how many eggs per kilo?"

Seller: "chicken or duck eggs?"

Buyer: "egg."

Seller: normal egg or chicken? "

Buyer: "ordinary chicken."

Seller: "The local or the imported?"

Buyer: "The local."

Seller: "The wish of the local Ipoh, Kuala Selangor
or Tampin?

Buyer: "The Ipoh lah ..." (As he looks upset).

Seller: "Want to Ipoh Central, West, East, North or South?"

Buyer: "You want to sell the eggs or the streets?"

Seller: "Sorry brother, I am selling noodles in the stew. Incidentally
The eggs sell out to eat. I asked to speak first to the buyer until he comes!

Can U Play?

A man approached a neighbor's house and knocked on the door ...
When the young woman opened the door of your house .. the man was asked ...

"Miss ... Miss can play the sex?"

Because the shock ... The young women hit the door of his house... However, the man would have just knocked on the door and
asking the same question. This time the young woman was screaming as hard hearts
as he drove his neighbor was not indecent ...

That night .. she was telling embarrassing afternoon
to her husband. Her husband promised to wait for the next rude boy
day when he comes again.

It was true ... the next day the same man came again and
knocked on the door. The woman immediately opened the door while her husband
while holding a gun to hide ...

The man continued to ask ..
"... Miss. can or not play the sex?"

"Must be good .. why ask this question sir?"
She said with a bold ...

"Good if you know ..." the man said ...
"Then Miss  .. satisfy your husband and tell him to keep away from
my wife! "

In The Hospital

Four people will be the baby's birth father is waiting for their break room of a hospital. Anxiety clear indication on their faces ...

A nurse came out of the operating room said the first man, "Congratulations! sir's wife gave birth to twins safe. "
"Double double! Coincidently, I worked at the iconic Petronas Twin Towers, "said the first man.

A few minutes later, another nurse came to tell the second man, "Her Excellency safely give birth to triplets. Congratulations!
"What? Triplets! I work with 3D Corporation, said the second man.

Half an hour later, a nurse tells the third man, "Congratulations!Wife of Mr. secure. Lord blessed the four twins "the nurse said quietly.
"Twin four! I really do not suspect this incident, I was working at the Four Season Hotel, "said the third man to be happy.

The four men began paced anxiety. The three men had surprised to see the fourth man. They ask,
"What worries you?"
With a whirl he replied "I work at Seven Eleven."

Papa and Mama

In the morning, a young man out of his room and asked her grandmother:

"Grandma, where Papa and Mama?"
"They are still in the room ..." her grandmother replied.

Child was laughing and then breakfast and then go to school alone.When home .. the son asked her grandmother:

"Where are Papa and Mama?"
"They are still in the room" her grandmother replied back.

The child giggled, and then spent eating tengaharinya and go play.At night then son had come home for dinner. Before eating, the child then asked her grandmother:

"Where are Papa and Mama?"
"Still in the room" said the grandmother.

The child giggled.

"Why is the last I just noticed you laugh?" asked her grandmother with a high tone.

The child answered,

"Yesterday, my Dad came into the room to ask for skin moisturizing gel, but I give her glue.. Super Glue!"

Celebrate the anniversary

While celebrating the anniversary of the 25-year marriage, a wife reminded her husband: 

"Do you remember when you talk to me, u want marry me, I was so amazed that I cannot speak for an hour?"

Her husband said:

"Yes, dear, it is one of the happiest hours of my life!"

Died Elephant

A manager of a zoo received a phone call about the death of an elephant at the zoo. As a measure of inspection, the manager went to the elephant barn and found there a man cries next to a dead elephant.

Manager: "As the keeper of an elephant, I understand the grief that you incur because of our defense when the animal is dead."

Male: "I am not an elephant keeper, the owner. But I was assigned to dig graves and bury them!"

After Die

Dinner that night last year, Ajoi hang in front of the TV while talking to his wife.

Ajoi: "When the brother died, whether not marry again?"

Wife: "Of course not! Your sister would sit with me. How are u if I died, u not married again?"

Ajoi: "Absolutely not, the same kind of u ... i will live with your sister...

Why Monkey Fall Outta The Tree?

Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead... 

Why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree? 

'cause he was dead too... 

Why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree? 

peer pressure...

Playing Golf

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. 

Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." 

The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband 

"Hey, where's your ball?" "It's over here in the pussy willows." 

The wife screams back, 

"DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!"

So Cold

There's an Ahmish girl riding in a buggy with her mother, and she say's "my hands are really cold, how can I warm them up?" 

Her mother say's "Put them between your legs, that will warm them up." 

So she does, and her mother was right. The next day the girl is riding in the buggy with her boyfriend, and he says his hands are cold, so the girl say's, "Put them between my legs, that will warm them up." 

So he does, and his hands get warm. The next day he has a cold nose, and they use the same remedy. The day after that he say's "My dick is really cold" and the girl says, "Put it between my legs and warm it up." 

So he does. She's talking to her mother the next day and she asks, "Mom have you ever heard of a penis?" Her mother says, "Yes, why do you ask?" 

She says I don't know what they are, but they make an awful mess when they thaw out!

Small World

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. 

After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." 

The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back.

He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"